An Ode to Farage

So now Paul Nuttall, a man who at least looks and sounds as if he belongs in the far-right, as well as looking like Darth Vader when the helmet comes off in Episode VI, has became the UKIP leader for this month at least, it is time to say goodbye to Nigel “Man of the people Farage”, as he does what all men of the people do, and flee to a country with less tax.

Nigel “man of the people Farage”, with his pints and his conspiracy theories and his casual racism. But that’s alright, it’s like your mate Barry down the pub who thinks 9/11 was an inside job and that the global Jewish conspiracy is real, see Farage is a man of the people. Claiming Europe makes 99.99% of our laws is just like believing in the illuminati, see Farage is one of us, he’s one own.

Nigel “Man of the people” Farage, like all men of the people like Prince Charles or Katie Hopkins, went to private schools, nothing like those liberal elite whiners like Gary Lineker who went to state schools. How dare they claim that Nigel “Man of the people” Farage claim to spread fear, Nigel “man of the people” Farage knows that if you came from nothing and are now wealthy you can’t have any political views, while if you pretend not to be from privilege its ok, see Big Nige is a man of the people.

I tell you what I love most about Nigel “Man of the people” Farage, the fact he isn’t at all part of the establishment. I mean the man worked in finance and was in the Conservative Party, how anti-establishment can you get! see Mr Farage is definitely a man of the people.

It’s great to see Nigel “Man of the people” Farage posing with that other great man of the orange people in front of that gold lift, I mean, it’s no different to your mate Gary taking a lads group picture in front of Fernando’s takeaway in Magaluf, see he is one the people. And yes that lift was quite blingy, but we all like a few gold chains on, that’s why Little Wayne is still everywhere talking about Young Money, see Nige is a man of the people. And as for his antics at the Ritz with the Ferrero Rocher, that was like your boss buying everyone a round at the Christmas due. Yes he may have been with the heads of the so-called antiestablishment right-wing press, who has correctly been on the right side of every democratic result since the 1970s, but he likes to win, like ENGLAND should in the football, see big Nige is just a man of the people.

And what do I like most about Big Nige “man of the people” Farage, it’s that he has gone from moaning about economic migrants for about 20 years for him to become one himself, I mean if you ever wanted an example of top quality banter, that’s it. Come to think about it, if other Ukippers are that serious about limiting Britain’s population growth, I would be happy if they joined Nigel over in the US of A.

 

So thank you Nigel for everything, please never come back.